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How do you improve your English listening skills? If you ask this question to English teachers they will tell you the same thing. They will tell you to go watch movies. They will say that watching movies is a great way to improve your listening.

But there's a problem. A lot of English learners watch movies with subtitles. Some people use English subtitles. Other people use subtitles in their native languages. Now it doesn't matter what kind of subtitles you use. Watching movies with subtitles is a really really bad way to improve your listening and in this video, I'm going to explain to you why it's such a bad idea.

But first let me share with you my personal experience. So back when I was in college I wanted to improve my English listening skills. So what did I do? Well, I started to watch movies with English subtitles. I thought that was the best way to improve my listening. I was really optimistic I thought in two or three years. I would be able to understand native speakers. Unfortunately it didn't work. After six years of doing that I still could not understand native speakers. I still needed subtitles when watching a movie. I was really disappointed. I watch a lot of movies. But I still could not understand native speakers at that point. I didn't really know why didn't work. But now I do so let's talk about that right now.

First there's one thing about listening that you need to know. Listening and hearing are not the same. If you want to improve your listening make sure that when you practice listening you are really listening and not just hearing. So what's the difference between listening and hearing? Well the difference is whether or not you are paying attention. If you're paying attention then you are listening. If you're not paying attention then that's just hearing. So let me give you an example. If you turn on the radio and pay attention to the sound from the radio then that is listening. But if you turn on the radio and that you do something else like reading a book then that's just hearing. You can hear the radio but you're not paying attention to it. You are not listening. And again, if you want to improve your listening, make sure that you are really listening and not just hearing. You need to make sure that you are paying attention.

Now let's talk about watching movies with subtitles. What's wrong with it? Why doesn't it work? As you might have guessed, it doesn't work because you're not listening. You're just hearing, so let me explain when you watch a movie. Your brain is trying to understand the movie but there isn't just one way to do that there are two ways or two options. The first option is to focus on reading the subtitles. The second option is to focus on listening to the sound.

Now I have a question for you. Which option do you think your brain will choose reading or listening? How the answer is obvious your brain is going to focus on reading the subtitles? Why because it's much easier that takes on the screen is clear? So it's very easy for your brain to process. The sounds of people talking on the other hand are not that clear, so it's much more difficult for your brain to figure out what people are saying. As a result, your brain will pay attention to the subtitles and not the sounds, so when you watch a movie with subtitles, you're not really improving your listening. You are actually improving your reading. And that's why it doesn't work. So the best way to improve your listening is to just listen. Don't read and listen at the same time. If you watch a movie in English remove the subtitles, so that your brain will have to focus on listening. If you do that, your listening will improve much faster. That said, there is still a problem. If you remove the subtitles then you won't understand the movie and if you don't understand the movie that is going to be boring so what should you do?

Well here's my suggestion. Don't try to improve your listening by watching movies just watch movies for fun. There's a better and faster way to improve your listening and that is the subject of the next video. In the next video, I'll share with you the method I personally use to improve my English listening skills. So I'll see you again in the next video, and if you don't want to miss that video, make sure you subscribe to this Engfluent channel. And if you want even more advice on how to improve your English, go to Engfluent dot com and sign up for the newsletter or just click these two boxes.
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  |  9336 learners#Education #Lectures

Let's talk about a problem you might have when listening to English, especially when watching a movie. You don't understand what you hear. And this is not because you don't know the vocabulary. If you read the transcript or the subtitles you will understand the material just fine. So you already know the words being used. You just don't recognize them when listening. So what should you do?

According to many research studies. In one study participants were trained to perform a task related to hearing. And there were three levels of difficulty easy normal and difficult. The participants were divided into two groups. The first group was trained to perform only the difficult version of that task. The second group however started with the easy and normal versions first before performing the difficult version. The researchers wanted to know which group would perform the difficult version better. So what was the result? Well despite having less training with the difficult version. The second group actually performed better. Practically speaking this finding suggests that if you have difficulty doing something, instead of just keep doing that it's more effective to start with something easy, and then slowly increase the difficulty as you improve.

So how can you apply this knowledge to improve your listening? I'll tell you. First you have to make it easy in the beginning. For example, if you listen to podcasts in English on your smartphone, find an app that lets you change playback speed. So that you can slow down or speed up what you're listening to. If you listen on your computer there are programs that can do that as well. Then whenever you have trouble understanding, use the app to slow down the audio like this. So now it gets easier right. You have more time to think. You have more time to make out words that aren't pronounced clearly. You have more time to guess the meanings of new words and phrases. The idea here is to make it easy in the beginning. Listen at slower speeds. Listen to speakers that are easy to understand. Listen to easy stuff like podcasts and interviews as opposed to movies. Start small but you're not done yet. Easy to hard training requires you to go from easy to difficult. So once your listening skills improve you have to gradually increase the difficulty, instead of listening at the normal speed, speed it up like this.

Now after you speed it up you must still be able to understand the content, but you should feel a little uncomfortable. This will help you become more familiar with listening to fast speakers. The idea here is to keep pushing yourself. If you keep listening to something easy your listening skills will stop improving. So you have to keep challenging yourself. So listen at faster speeds. Also don't keep listening to the same person. Listen to different people with different speaking styles. And then start watching movies without subtitles. If it's still difficult you can slow down the movie by five percent or ten percent or you can slow it down even more if you don't mind the slowness. Once you get used to it you can then start watching movies at normal speed.
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  |  8963 learners#Education #Lectures

The United States government is composed of three major sections. It is based on the Constitution of the United States of America that was put into effect in May, 1789. The three parts of the US Government are the executive, legislative and judicial branches. Each branch works independently of the other two and each has its own responsibilities. This system is in place to ensure that no branch can carry more power than the other. This is called the separation of powers, which was written into the Constitution.

The executive branch is the branch that most Americans are familiar with. It includes the president of the United States, the vice-president, and the cabinet. The president is the leader of the country and is the commander in chief of the US military. The vice president is second in command, and will act as president if the president dies, resigns, or is removed from office. The cabinet acts as agents of the US President, and carry out the duties they are entrusted with. The legislative branch of government consists of the House of Representatives, and the Senate. Together they form the congress, which can levy and collect taxes, mint money, and establish federal courts. It can also declare war and raise and support the army, navy, and air force to protect the country.

The House of Representatives has four hundred and thirty five members and the Senate consists of one hundred senators, with two from each of the states. Any legislation, or new law must be approved by both the House of Representatives and the Senate. The judicial branch is entrusted to apply the laws created by the legislative branch of government. It has the power to create lower courts under the Supreme Court of the United States. It works closely with state courts, although they are separate.
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  |  8888 learners#Politic #Essays

Christmas, observed on December 25 is a Christian holiday that celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ. Christians of different denominations go to church on Christmas. Many Catholics go to midnight mass. In the United States, however, the holiday has a much more secular tone and is celebrated throughout the country.

Many people, regardless of their religion, put up and decorate a Christmas tree. The tree can be a real evergreen or it can be an artificial tree. Lights, strings, tinsel, and even popcorn can be used to decorate a Christmas tree. On the top of the tree is a star or an angel. The decorations are usually red and green. The purpose of a Christmas tree is to have a central location to place gifts. According to legend, a jolly fat man with a beard named Santa Claus, leaves presents under the tree. Children in the US often write lists of things they want Santa to bring them. Many parents bring their children to shopping malls across the country to tell a man dressed as Santa what they want. These children are often also photographed with the mall Santa as a keepsake. On Christmas Eve many children leave milk and cookies for Santa.

Of course it is the parents that buy the gifts from the wish lists, and even eat the cookies and drink the milk. On Christmas Day children usually wake up early and run to the tree so they can see what Santa brought them. Adults can also exchange gifts at this time. People don't just decorate a tree at Christmas. Many also elaborately decorate their homes with lights. Some of the displays are even synchronized to Christmas songs called carols. Originally these songs were religious, but now they are about the spirit of the season.
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  |  8918 learners#Culture #Essays

New Year's Day officially begins as soon as people yell. Happy New Year at midnight. Most people continue partying well after midnight into the wee hours of the first day of the new year. In fact, many New Year's parties include breakfast or brunch. Sometimes at the stroke of midnight there will be fireworks and couples often kiss.

One of the most famous New Year's celebrations takes place in New York City's Time Square where a huge cut crystal ball drops at midnight in front of millions of people standing in the cold. Many more millions watch on television. Some groups, called Polar Bear Clubs jump into the cold ocean water on New Year's Day as a literal way to start the new year fresh. New Year's Day, January 1, is a national holiday in the United States. This means that schools, banks, government offices, and post offices are closed. Given how much people tend to drink alcohol on New Year's Eve. Many people wake up on New Year's Day with a hangover. The national holiday is a good day to recover. Many people go out partying with their friends on New Year's Eve. Many people use New Year's Day to visit family members.

New Year's Day is also when many people start on their New Year's resolutions. A resolution is a promise to change a lifestyle habit. The most common resolution is to lose weight. Many people also join gyms as part of their resolutions. On New Year's Day there are also parades such as the famous Tournament of Roses Parade in Pasadena, California, where all the floats are made of different colored roses and they compete for awards. Many people also watch college and professional football games, including the Rose Bowl, which is also held in Pasadena, California.
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  |  8912 learners#Culture #Essays

Hi everybody, I have a quick question for you. What do you think about your spoken English? Do you think your English is bad? A lot of people who want to speak English think this way because when they speak they have trouble coming up with words. They make a lot of mistakes and their sentence structures is just wrong, and they believe that they're just bad at speaking English and there's nothing they can do about it.

Now, if you are one of those people if you think that there's no way for you to improve your English, then I have something to tell you. You are wrong. You are just plain wrong and in this video I'm going to tell you why. Now, I want you to think about experts and top performers in any field, think about world-class athletes like Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan now here's my question for you. How good do you think they were in the beginning? Do you think they were excellent right from the start? No, of course not, they were terrible in the beginning. Tiger Woods was bad at golf when he began. Michael Jordan was bad at basketball when he began. The bottom line is this when you start out something new. You are going to suck really suck. You are going to make mistakes. You are going to look stupid, and the only way to get better is to keep doing it, and you will get better over time, and this is the truth and it applies to everybody.

But here's the more important question if everybody sucks in the beginning, then what separates successful people from unsuccessful people. How it is possible that they can be English learners? Who are similar to each others? I mean they have the same level of intelligence they have the same resources. But some of them managed to become good at spoken English while others cannot speak English at all. What's the difference the answer is one word action successful people suck in the beginning? Just like anybody else but they keep taking action they keep learning they keep practicing, because they know that even though they're not good at speaking today. They are going to get better if they keep learning if they keep practicing, so they take massive action unsuccessful people on the other hand don't take action very much. They tried to speak English a little bit they try to practice a little bit, but they quit very quickly. I mean they start speaking and they start having trouble it's not making mistakes, and then they say oh English is just not for me, it's too difficult. I'm just not good at language, and then they quit. They just give up immediately.

So here's my challenge to you. After you watch this video, I want you to talk about anything in English, and you just do it by yourself you don't need to find someone to do it with you. You can talk about anything you want you can talk about yourself. You can talk about what happened yesterday, or maybe you can talk about what you've learned from this video. It doesn't matter what to talk about what matters is that you take action and when you do that. I want you to keep two things in mind number one you are going to suck. Just keep in mind that you are going to make mistakes. You are going to say something confusing, or maybe you won't be able to speak at all but be okay with that that's normal everybody has to go through that. I mean this is my first Youtube video and as you can see my drawing sucks is terrible, but I'm okay with that I accepted and you should be okay with your speaking as well.

Second thing I want you to keep in mind is to keep taking action. Just keep learning just keep practicing because it doesn't matter if you suck today, the present does not equal the future, just because you're bad at speaking now doesn't mean that you're always be bad at speaking. If you keep taking action I guarantee that you will improve you will get better. I mean the same is true for my drawing is Saturday. But if they keep drawing if I keep practicing, I'm going to get better. Okay, so that's my challenge to you, and we've come to the end of this video now one last thing. If you want to receive free training videos on how to improve your spoken English, then click the link in the description below, to go to Engfluent dot com and subscribe to my newsletter. I'll be releasing an exclusive training videos on how to improve your spoken English soon and you don't want to miss that. So go to Engfluent dot com, subscribe and I'll see you soon.
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  |  8986 learners#Education #Lectures

The Fourth of July is the United States' celebration of its independence from England. It is the day when the Declaration of Independence was adopted by the new country's forefathers, and is a national holiday.

It has been celebrated every year since 1776. Americans hold this day as one of the most revered holidays in the country. Independence Day celebrations include firework shows that are held by various organizations throughout the country. The shows are held at stadiums, recreational parks, and private homes. Additionally, many businesses have giveaways, and special discounts for all residents on this day. The firework shows are best at stadiums where they attract a large number of people. This is a recent change in the way Americans celebrate the day.

In the past, most people bought their own fireworks from vendors who sell their goods in supermarket parking lots. Another Fourth of July tradition is the backyard barbecue. The holiday occurs in the middle of summer and Americans love to grill outdoors to avoid the heat inside the house. Hamburgers and hot dogs are the food of choice, but steaks are also prepared often. There is nothing better than a great American meal and a cold drink celebrating the Fourth of July. It is a popular holiday and it is one that has great meaning to most Americans.
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  |  8920 learners#Culture #Essays

America is known as the land of opportunity where one could achieve anything they put their mind to no matter who they are. Thousands of people immigrate to the United States every year from different parts of the world to have access to these kinds of opportunities. This is what is known as the American dream. One of the many reasons America is such a great country is the diversity you see all around. America is one big melting pot of citizens from different backgrounds. America is also home to many of the world's top colleges and universities.

California Institute of Technology is a top world-ranked college that focuses highly on science and engineering. It is located in the city of Pasadena. Harvard University is another top world ranked college that you might be familiar with. The buildings at Harvard date all the way back to the year 1636 making Harvard the oldest university in the United States. It is located in the state of Massachusetts, University of California, Los Angeles is another institute worthy of recognition. Located next to Hollywood, UCLA has distinguished itself as a prestigious and selective university, due to the number of people who apply for admission throughout the United States. The universities mentioned are but a few of the many other excellent schools, that make the United States so outstanding.

America is also known for being at the forefront of freedom and equality. Although our history may be contradictory to these ideals, we have progressed and now live in a land of equal opportunity. Whether you wish to become a doctor, a lawyer, or a librarian. America is the best place to be at to achieve these dreams.
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  |  8988 learners#Culture #Essays

I'm here today to talk about a disturbing question, which has an equally disturbing answer. My topic is the secrets of domestic violence, and the question I'm going to tackle is the one question everyone always asks. Why does she stay? Why would anyone stay with a man who beats her? I'm not a psychiatrist, a social worker or an expert in domestic violence. I'm just one woman with a story to tell.

I was twenty two. I had just graduated from Harvard College. I had moved to New York City for my first job as a writer and editor at Seventeen magazine. I had my first apartment, my first little green American Express card, and I had a very big secret. My secret was that I had this gun loaded with hollow-point bullets pointed at my head by the man who I thought was my soulmate, many, many times. The man who I loved more than anybody on Earth held a gun to my head and threatened to kill me more times than I can even remember. I'm here to tell you the story of crazy love, a psychological trap disguised as love, one that millions of women and even a few men fall into every year. It may even be your story.

I don't look like a typical domestic violence survivor. I have a B.A. in English from Harvard College, an MBA in marketing from Wharton Business School. I've spent most of my career working for Fortune 500 companies including Johnson & Johnson, Leo Burnett and The Washington Post. I've been married for almost 20 years to my second husband and we have three kids together. My dog is a black lab, and I drive a Honda Odyssey minivan.

So my first message for you is that domestic violence happens to everyone, all races, all religions, all income and education levels. It's everywhere. And my second message is that everyone thinks domestic violence happens to women, that it's a women's issue. Not exactly. Over eighty five percent of abusers are men, and domestic abuse happens only in intimate, interdependent, long-term relationships, in other words, in families, the last place we would want or expect to find violence, which is one reason domestic abuse is so confusing.

I would have told you myself that I was the last person on Earth who would stay with a man who beats me, but in fact I was a very typical victim because of my age. I was twenty two, and in the United States, women ages 16 to 24 are three times as likely to be domestic violence victims as women of other ages. and over five hundred women and girls this age are killed every year by abusive partners, boyfriends, and husbands in the United States.

I was also a very typical victim because I knew nothing about domestic violence, its warning signs or its patterns.

I met Conor on a cold, rainy January night. He sat next to me on the New York City subway, and he started chatting me up. He told me two things. One was that he, too, had just graduated from an Ivy League school, and that he worked at a very impressive Wall Street bank. But what made the biggest impression on me that first meeting was that he was smart and funny and he looked like a farm boy. He had these big cheeks, these big apple cheeks and this wheat-blond hair, and he seemed so sweet.

One of the smartest things Conor did, from the very beginning, was to create the illusion that I was the dominant partner in the relationship. He did this especially at the beginning by idolizing me. We started dating, and he loved everything about me, that I was smart, that I'd gone to Harvard, that I was passionate about helping teenage girls, and my job. He wanted to know everything about my family and my childhood and my hopes and dreams. Conor believed in me, as a writer and a woman, in a way that no one else ever had. And he also created a magical atmosphere of trust between us by confessing his secret which was that, as a very young boy starting at age four, he had been savagely and repeatedly physically abused by his stepfather. and the abuse had gotten so bad that he had had to drop out of school in eighth grade, even though he was very smart, and he'd spent almost 20 years rebuilding his life. Which is why that Ivy League degree and the Wall Street job and his bright shiny future meant so much to him. If you had told me that this smart, funny, sensitive man who adored me would one day dictate whether or not I wore makeup. How short my skirts were? Where I lived? What jobs I took? Who my friends were? and where I spent Christmas? I would have laughed at you, because there was not a hint of violence or control or anger in Conor at the beginning. I didn't know that the first stage in any domestic violence relationship is to seduce and charm the victim.

I also didn't know that the second step is to isolate the victim. Now, Conor did not come home one day and announce. You know, hey, all this Romeo and Juliet stuff has been great, but I need to move into the next phase where I isolate you and I abuse you. So I need to get you out of this apartment where the neighbors can hear you scream and out of this city where you have friends and family and coworkers who can see the bruises. Instead, Conor came home one Friday evening and he told me that he had quit his job that day, his dream job, and he said that he had quit his job because of me, because I had made him feel so safe and loved that he didn't need to prove himself on Wall Street anymore, and he just wanted to get out of the city and away from his abusive, dysfunctional family, and move to a tiny town in New England where he could start his life over with me by his side. Now, the last thing I wanted to do was leave New York, and my dream job, but I thought you made sacrifices for your soulmate, so I agreed, and I quit my job, and Conor and I left Manhattan together. I had no idea I was falling into crazy love, that I was walking headfirst into a carefully laid physical, financial and psychological trap.

The next step in the domestic violence pattern is to introduce the threat of violence and see how she reacts. And here's where those guns come in. As soon as we moved to New England, you know, that place where Conor was supposed to feel so safe, he bought three guns. He kept one in the glove compartment of our car. He kept one under the pillows on our bed, and the third one he kept in his pocket at all times. And he said that he needed those guns because of the trauma he'd experienced as a young boy. He needed them to feel protected. But those guns were really a message for me, and even though he hadn't raised a hand to me, my life was already in grave danger every minute of every day.

Conor first physically attacked me five days before our wedding. It was seven am. I still had on my nightgown. I was working on my computer trying to finish a freelance writing assignment, and I got frustrated, and Conor used my anger as an excuse to put both of his hands around my neck and to squeeze so tightly that I could not breathe or scream, and he used the chokehold to hit my head repeatedly against the wall. Five days later, the ten bruises on my neck had just faded, and I put on my mother's wedding dress, and I married him.

Despite what had happened, I was sure we were going to live happily ever after, because I loved him, and he loved me so much. And he was very, very sorry. He had just been really stressed out by the wedding and by becoming a family with me. It was an isolated incident, and he was never going to hurt me again.

It happened twice more on the honeymoon. The first time, I was driving to find a secret beach and I got lost and he punched me in the side of my head so hard that the other side of my head repeatedly hit the driver's side window. And then a few days later, driving home from our honeymoon, he got frustrated by traffic, and he threw a cold Big Mac in my face. Conor proceeded to beat me once or twice a week for the next two and a half years of our marriage.

I was mistaken in thinking that I was unique and alone in this situation. One in three American women experiences domestic violence or stalking at some point in her life, and the CDC reports that fifty million children are abused every year, fifty million. So actually, I was in very good company.

Back to my question. Why did I stay? The answer is easy. I didn't know he was abusing me. Even though he held those loaded guns to my head, pushed me down stairs, threatened to kill our dog, pulled the key out of the car ignition as I drove down the highway, poured coffee grinds on my head as I dressed for a job interview. I never once thought of myself as a battered wife. Instead, I was a very strong woman in love with a deeply troubled man, and I was the only person on Earth who could help Conor face his demons.

The other question everybody asks is, why doesn't she just leave? Why didn't I walk out? I could have left any time. To me, this is the saddest and most painful question that people ask, because we victims know something you usually don't. It's incredibly dangerous to leave an abuser. Because the final step in the domestic violence pattern is kill her. Over seventy percent of domestic violence murders happen after the victim has ended the relationship, after she's gotten out. because then the abuser has nothing left to lose. Other outcomes include long-term stalking, even after the abuser remarries, denial of financial resources, and manipulation of the family court system to terrify the victim and her children, who are regularly forced by family court judges to spend unsupervised time with the man who beat their mother. And still we ask, why doesn't she just leave?

I was able to leave, because of one final, sadistic beating that broke through my denial. I realized that the man who I loved so much was going to kill me if I let him. So I broke the silence. I told everyone, the police, my neighbors, my friends and family, total strangers and I'm here today because you all helped me. We tend to stereotype victims as grisly headlines, self-destructive women, damaged goods. The question, why does she stay? Is code for some people for? It's her fault for staying, as if victims intentionally choose to fall in love with men intent upon destroying us.

But since publishing Crazy Love, I have heard hundreds of stories from men and women, who also got out, who learned an invaluable life lesson from what happened, and who rebuilt lives, joyous, happy lives, as employees, wives and mothers lives completely free of violence, like me. Because it turns out that I'm actually a very typical domestic violence victim and a typical domestic violence survivor. I remarried a kind and gentle man, and we have those three kids. I have that black lab, and I have that minivan. What I will never have again, ever, is a loaded gun held to my head by someone who says that he loves me.

Right now, maybe you're thinking, wow, this is fascinating, or, wow, how stupid was she, but this whole time, I've actually been talking about you. I promise you there are several people listening to me right now who are currently being abused or who were abused as children or who are abusers themselves. Abuse could be affecting your daughter, your sister, your best friend right now.

I was able to end my own crazy love story by breaking the silence. I'm still breaking the silence today. It's my way of helping other victims, and it's my final request of you. Talk about what you heard here. Abuse thrives only in silence. You have the power to end domestic violence simply by shining a spotlight on it. We victims need everyone. We need every one of you to understand the secrets of domestic violence. Show abuse the light of day by talking about it with your children, your coworkers, your friends and family. Recast survivors as wonderful, lovable people with full futures. Recognize the early signs of violence and conscientiously intervene, deescalate it, show victims a safe way out. Together we can make our beds, our dinner tables and our families the safe and peaceful oases they should be. Thank you.
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  |  9010 learners#Social #Speeches

Ashley Judd, stupid fucking slut. You can't sue someone for calling them a cunt. If you can't handle the Internet, fuck off, whore. Ashley Judd, you're the reason women shouldn't vote. Twisted is such a bad movie, I don't even want to rape it. Whatever you do, don't tell Ashley Judd. She'll die alone with a dried out vagina. If I had to fuck an older woman, oh my God, I would fuck the shit out of Ashley Judd, that bitch is hot af. The unforgivable shit I would do to her. Online misogyny is a global gender rights tragedy, and it is imperative that it ends.

Girls' and women's voices, and our allies' voices are constrained in ways that are personally, economically, professionally and politically damaging. And when we curb abuse, we will expand freedom.

I am a Kentucky basketball fan, so on a fine March day last year, I was doing one of the things I do best, I was cheering for my Wildcats. The daffodils were blooming, but the referees were not blowing the whistle when I was telling them to.

Funny, they're very friendly to me before the opening tip, but they really ignore me during the game. Three of my players were bleeding, so I did the next best thing, I tweeted.

It is routine for me to be treated in the ways I've already described to you. It happens to me every single day on social media platforms such as Twitter and Facebook. Since I joined Twitter in 2011, misogyny and misogynists have amply demonstrated they will dog my every step. My spirituality, my faith, being a hillbilly. I can say that, you can't, all of it is fair game.

And I have responded to this with various strategies. I've tried engaging people. This one guy was sending me hypersexual, nasty stuff, and there was a girl in his avatar. I wrote him back and said. Is that your daughter. I feel a lot of fear that you may think about and talk to women this way. And he surprised me by saying, You know what. You're right. I apologize. Sometimes people want to be held accountable. This one guy was musing to I don't know who that maybe I was the definition of a cunt. I was married to a Scot for 14 years, so I said, cunt means many different things in different countries.

But I'm pretty sure you epitomize the global standard of a dick.

I've tried to rise above it, I've tried to get in the trenches, but mostly I would scroll through these social media platforms with one eye partially closed trying not to see it, but you can't make a cucumber out of a pickle. What is seen goes in. It's traumatic. And I was always secretly hoping in some part of me that what was being said to me and about me wasn't true. Because even I, an avowed, self-declared feminist, who worships at the altar of Gloria internalize the patriarchy. This is really critical. Patriarchy is not boys and men. It is a system in which we all participate, including me.

On that particular day, for some reason, that particular tweet after the basketball game triggered something called a cyber mob. This vitriolic, global outpouring of the most heinous hate speech, death threats, rape threats. And don't you know, when I was sitting at home alone in my nightgown, I got a phone call, and it was my beloved former husband, and he said on a voice mail. Loved one ... what is happening to you is not OK.

And there was something about him taking a stand for me that night, that allowed me to take a stand for myself. And I started to write. I started to write about sharing the fact that I'm a survivor of all forms of sexual abuse, including three rapes. And the hate speech I get in response to that, these are just some of the comments posted to news outlets. Being told I'm a snitch is really fun.

Thank you, Jesus. May your grace and mercy shine. So, I wrote this feminist op-ed, it is entitled, Forget Your Team. It Is Your Online Gender Violence Toward Girls And Women That Can Kiss My Righteous Ass.

And I did that alone, and I published it alone, because my chief advisor said, Please don't, the rain of retaliatory garbage that is inevitable, I fear for you. But I trust girls and I trust women, and I trust our allies. It was published, it went viral, it proves that every single day online misogyny is a phenomenon endured by us all, all over the world, and when it is intersectional, it is worse. Sexual orientation, gender identity, race, ethnicity, religion, you name it. It amplifies the violence endured by girls and women, and for our younger girls, it is worse.

It's clearly traumatizing. Our mental health, our emotional well-being are so gravely affected because the threat of violence is experienced neurobiologically as violence. The cortisol shoots up, the limbic system gets fired, we lose productivity at work. And let's talk about work. Our ability to work is constrained. Online searches of women applying for jobs reveal nude pictures of them, false allegations they have STDs, their addresses indicating that they are available for sex with real examples of people showing up at this house for said sex.

Our ability to go to school is impaired. 96 percent of all postings of sexual images of our young people girls. Our girls. Our boys are two to three times more likely, nonconsensually, to share images. And I want to say a word about revenge porn. Part of what came out of this tweet was my getting connected with allies and other activists who are fighting for a safe and free internet. We started something called the Speech Project; curbing abuse, expanding freedom. And that website provides a critical forum, because there is no global, legal thing to help us figure this out. But we do provide on that website a standardized list of definitions, because it's hard to attack a behavior in the right way if we're not all sharing a definition of what that behavior is. And I learned that revenge porn is often dangerously misapplied. It is the nonconsensual sharing of an image used tactically to shame and humiliate a girl or woman that attempts to pornography us. Our natural sexuality is. I don't know about yours, pretty gorgeous and wonderful. And my expressing it does not pornography make. So, I have all these resources that I'm keenly aware so many people in the world do not. I was able to start the Speech Project with colleagues. I can often get a social media company's attention. I have a wonderful visit to Facebook HQ coming up. Hasn't helped the idiotic reporting standards yet. I actually pay someone to scrub my social media feeds, attempting to spare my brain the daily iterations of the trauma of hate speech. And guess what. I get hate speech for that. Oh, you live in an echo chamber. Well, guess what. Having someone post a photograph of me with my mouth open saying they can't wait to cum on my face, I have a right to set that boundary.

And this distinction between virtual and real is specious because guess what, that actually happened to me once when I was a child, and so that tweet brought up that trauma, and I had to do work on that.

But you know what we do. We take all of this hate speech, and we disaggregate it, and we code it, and we give that data so that we understand the intersectionality of it. You know, when I get porn, when it's about political affiliation, when it's about age, when it's about all of it. We're going to win this fight.

There are a lot of solutions. Thank goodness. I'm going to offer just a few, and of course I challenge you to create and contribute your own. Number one, we have to start with digital media literacy, and clearly it must have a gendered lens. Kids, schools, caregivers, parents, it's essential. Two, shall we talk about our friends in tech? Said with dignity and respect, the sexism in your workplaces must end.

EDGE, the global standard for gender equality, is the minimum standard. And guess what, Silicon Valley. If L'Oreal in India, in the Philippines, in Brazil and in Russia can do it, you can, too. Enough excuses. Only when women have critical mass in every department at your companies, including building platforms from the ground up, will the conversations about priorities and solutions change.

And more love for my friends in tech, profiteering off misogyny in video games must end. I'm so tired of hearing you talk to me at cocktail parties, like you did a couple weeks ago in Aspen about how deplorable Gamergate was when you're still making billions of dollars off games that maim and dump women for sport. Basta!, as the Italians would say. Enough.

Our friends in law enforcement have much to do, because we've seen that online violence is an extension of in-person violence. In our country, more girls and women have been murdered by their intimate partners than died on 9-11 and have died since in Afghanistan and Iraq combined. And it's not cool to say that, but it is true We care so much geopolitically about what men are doing over there to women over there. In 2015, 72828 women used intimate partner violence services in this country. That is not counting the girls and women and boys who needed them. Law enforcement must be empowered with up-to-date internet technology, the devices and an understanding of these platforms. How they work. The police wanted to be helpful when Amanda Hess called about the death threat she was getting on Twitter, but they couldn't really when they said. What's Twitter?

Our legislators must write and pass astute legislation that reflects today's technology and our notions of free and hate speech. In New York recently, the law could not be applied to a perpetrator because the crimes must have been committed even if it was anonymous. They must have been committed by telephone, in mail, by telegraph. The language must be technologically neutral.

So apparently, I've got a pretty bold voice. So, let's talk about our friends, white men. You have a role to play and a choice to make. You can do something, or you can do nothing. We're cool in this room, but when this goes out, everyone will say, oh my God, she's a reverse racist. That quote was said by a white man, Robert Moritz, chairperson, PricewaterhouseCoopers, he asked me to include it in my talk.

We need to grow support lines and help groups, so victims can help each other when their lives and finances have been derailed. We must as individuals disrupt gender violence as it is happening. 92 percent of young people 29 and under witness it. 72 percent of us have witnessed it. We must have the courage and urgency to practice stopping it as it is unfolding.

And lastly, believe her. Believe her.

This is fundamentally a problem of human interaction. And as I believe that human interaction is at the core of our healing, trauma not transformed will be trauma transferred. The end is latent in the beginning, so we are going to end this talk replacing hate speech with love speech. Because I get lonely in this, but I know that we are allies. I recently learned about how gratitude and affirmations offset negative interactions. It takes five of those to offset one negative interaction, and gratitude in particular, free, available globally any time, anywhere, to anyone in any dialect, it fires the pregenual anterior cingulate, a watershed part of the brain that floods it with great, good stuff. So I'm going to say awesome stuff about myself. I would like for you to reflect it back to me. It might sound something like this.

I am a powerful and strong woman, and you would say, Yes, you are. Yes, you are. My mama loves me. Yes, she does. I did a great job with my talk. Yes, you did. I have a right to be here. Yes, you do. I'm really cute. Yes, you are.

God does good work. Yes, He does. And I love you. Thank you so much for letting me be of service. Bless you.
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