Lesson: Elephants, Bananas and Aunty Ethel

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• So, I was walking along the street, on my way to work, as usual, but for some reason I was in a hurry.
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• I wasn't really sure why I was in a hurry.
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• And then I realised that I was holding a banana in my hand.
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• I didn't know why I was holding a banana in my hand, but I knew that the banana was really important for some reason.
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• The banana had something to do with the reason that I was late, and in a hurry.
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• It was a really important banana, only I didn't know why the banana was so important.
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• Then I met my Aunty Ethel on the street corner.
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• It was strange, because I hadn't seen Aunty Ethel for about twenty years.
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• Hello, I said to her. I haven't seen you for about twenty years!
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• I was really surprised to see her, but she didn't seem surprised to see me.
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• Be careful with that banana, she said.
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• And I laughed, because I knew that it was a really important banana, and yes, I had to be careful with it.
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• Aunty Ethel decided to walk to work with me, which was a problem because I was late and in a hurry, and she walked really, really slowly.
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• Then, when we went round the corner, there was an elephant blocking the street.
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• It depends where you live, I guess, but in Manchester it's pretty strange to see an elephant blocking the street.
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• The strange thing was, though, that I wasn't really that surprised.
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• Oh no, I was thinking, another elephant blocking the street, what a pain.
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• Especially this morning when I'm late and in a hurry, and with Aunty Ethel, and this really important banana.
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• Then I started to get really worried, and then I woke up.
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• I breathed a sigh of relief.
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• Thank goodness for that I thought.
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• How strange dreams are, I wonder why I was dreaming about elephants and bananas and Aunty Ethel.
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• The radio was already on.
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• The radio comes on automatically at 7 o'clock, to wake me up.
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• I looked at the clock.
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• It was already ten past seven.
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• I had to get up quickly.
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• I went into the shower, and I could hear the news on the radio.
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• I couldn't hear it very well, but there was a story on the news about an elephant who had escaped from a local circus.
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• The elephant was causing a lot of trouble walking around the town.
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• I thought this was an incredible coincidence, but then I realised that I had probably heard the news story on the radio when I was half-asleep.
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• That was why I was dreaming about an elephant.
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• I quickly got dressed and went into the kitchen to get some coffee before I went to work.
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• I work for a film company.
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• We get ideas for films and film scripts, then we try to produce the films.
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• I thought a film about an elephant in Manchester would be great.
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• There was a note on the kitchen table.
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• It was from my wife.
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• Don't forget to buy bananas on your way home from work today, it said.
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• It was a good job she had written the note,
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• because I had completely forgotten about the fact that she has to eat a lot of bananas
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• because of the crazy diet she's on at the moment.
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• I tried to remember to buy bananas on my way home from work, and rushed out of the house.
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• As I was walking down the road my mobile rang.
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• It was my mum.
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• Hello mum, I said. What are you ringing at this time for?
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• I've got some sad news, I'm afraid, love she said. Do you remember your Aunty Ethel?
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• Just about I said, But I haven't seen Aunty Ethel for about twenty years.
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• Yes, well she was very old, and I'm afraid she died last night. She'd been very ill, I told you a couple of weeks ago.
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• That's sad I said.
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• So there I was, walking down the street, late for work, thinking about Aunty Ethel and bananas and elephants,
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• and of course I realised that it was all exactly the same as my dream.
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• And as I started to think more about this,
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• I realised I was walking more and more slowly,
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• and I looked down and saw that the street was turning into hot, wet, sticky toffee,
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• and it was sticking to my shoes, and the quicker I tried to walk, the slower I went
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• I looked at my watch and saw that my watch was going backwards.
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• That's OK, I was thinking.
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• If my watch is going backwards, then it means that it's early, and not late, so I'm not late for work at all
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• and then I woke up. Again.
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• Now this was strange.
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• This was very, very strange.
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• I got up and pinched myself to make sure I was really awake this time.
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• Ouch, the pinch hurt.
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• This meant I really was awake, and not dreaming this time.
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• It was early.
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• I wasn't late.
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• The radio alarm clock hadn't come on yet.
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• It was only half past six.
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• My wife was still at home.
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• Have you got enough bananas? I asked her.
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• She looked at me as if I was crazy.
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• What do you mean bananas? She asked.
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• I thought you had to eat lots of bananas for your special diet.
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• I have no idea what you're on about! She said. Why, do you think I need to go on a diet? Do you mean that I'm fat?
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• No, no, no, not at all, by the way, have you heard anything about an elephant?
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• An elephant.
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• Yes, an elephant which has escaped from a circus.
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• We live in Manchester.
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• There aren't any circuses in Manchester.
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• And there certainly aren't any elephants.
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• Listen, are you suffering from stress or something.
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• You're working too hard on that new film you're trying to produce, aren't you?
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• Perhaps you should just stay at home today, take it easy.
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• Perhaps you're right, I said. I'll just phone my mum.
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• Why do you need to phone your mum at half past six in the morning?
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• Oh, nothing important, I said
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• Well, I'm off to work. See you later, and take it easy today, OK.
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• OK. I phoned my mum. Hello mum.
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• Hello love. What are you calling this early for?
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• Do you remember Aunty Ethel?
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• Of course I do, but I haven't seen her for about twenty years or so.
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• How is she?
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• I've got no idea. Why on earth are you worried about your Aunty Ethel who you haven't seen for twenty years.
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• Oh nothing, bye.
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• I made a cup of tea and went back to bed.
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• Perhaps my wife was right.
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• Perhaps I should just relax and take it easy today.
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• I phoned up my boss.
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• Listen I said. I'm not feeling too good today, perhaps too much stress with the production schedule of the new film project.
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• That's a shame said my boss.
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• We've just got a really exciting new idea for a film. I wanted to talk to you about it today.
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• It's a kind of action movie.
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• It's a great story.
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• You have to hear this, an elephant escapes from a circus in a big city, and it has eaten some strange, radioactive bananas, so it's going completely crazy.
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• They eventually manage to stop the elephant by covering all the streets with sticky toffee, so that it can't walk.
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• I see I said. And where does my Aunty Ethel come into it.
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• Aunty who?
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• I hung up the phone, and hoped that I would wake up. Soon.
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